Confidence 

Confidence was always a hard thing for me to deal with. I know when I have it, it makes things so much easier and better. So why is it so hard for me to have it and keep it? I’ll have confidence in spurts. I’ll be positive, upbeat, and hopeful about the situation and then suddenly I’m overcome with that deep encompassing doubt. I will be overwhelmed. All I see are all of my flaws and wondering how could I be so confident when I have so many short comings. I know some of these doubts are just my anxiety overtaking me. Some of it is irrational and exagerated thoughts of flaws I have but then some of it is  legitment. I know it can be good to know what your short comings are so you can work on them and improve. 

Having confidence is a good thing. It is something I try to have. I’m working on it. I would stand tall smile in the mirror or to my Mom and my sister, put hands on my hips and boldly say, “I got this.” For a while the statement spoke true I did “get this” whatever it is. Then as the day went on and  things aren’t going according to plan and a little disappointment happens here and a little doubts creeps out there than by the end of the day my confidence is gone.

I don’t know what to do about it. All I can do is work on it. Fake it until I make it could be a good option. Even when I’m not feeling it and the doubts make a reluctant appearance I can tell myself, “I got this!” so that eventually one day the statement will remain true.

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